How to Savor Your Time
Tired of trying to save time? Try making the most of each moment instead.
Hi there, friend! Do you have a complicated relationship with time, like I do? Do you find yourself coaxing and pleading with it to work for you, then getting frustrated when it doesn’t bend to your plans?
I’m willing to bet that you, like me, have probably heard more advice and maxims about time than you know or care how to follow: everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, time waits for no one, you have to make time for the things that matter to you, etc. Usually, a proliferation of platitudes about something indicates its significance in human culture. And time certainly affects us all throughout our lives, whether we like its platitudes or hate them. At least in the industrialized parts of the world, we depend on time to manage our daily routines, to coordinate meetings, events, and social gatherings with each other, to measure the passing of each day and night, to reflect on the past and plan for the future.
Still, when I think about Albert Einstein’s discovery that time is relative, sometimes I can’t help wishing I could just live without clocks. After all, clocks don’t fully convey the myriad ways we experience time. We don’t even have to travel to the moon and back to prove Einstein’s theory of relativity. My own life experiences have proven out time’s slippery, stretchy nature, and I’m sure you’ve observed this phenomenon in your life, too.
When I was a kid, waiting for my birthday to arrive felt like forever; now my birthdays show up faster and faster each year. Does this ring true for you? And yet, on a relaxing vacation, time seems to slow down for us, becoming as serene as the surface of a pond on a clear day. Then again, in a waiting room, the passage of time can feel like a torturously slow drip of second upon second, if we’re dreading an appointment or an interview. Conversely, time can fly whether we’re having fun or not, depending on the circumstances. An entire night can evaporate in what feels like mere moments, either because we’ve been utterly immersed in exhilarating conversation with a new friend, or because we’ve burned the proverbial midnight oil studying for a final exam.
Considering what a challenge it is even to describe the passage of time in any consistent way, it seems almost ludicrous to think we can save time or manage it. Still, we strive and strive and strive to master time so that we can accomplish more and stretch our life spans.
But is a life daily packed to the gills with tasks, accomplishments, and events a life lived to the fullest? Or is it merely a life lived to the point of exhaustion?
Last year, a dear friend asked if I happened to have any time management tips. Since I’d become entirely fed up with the very notion of productivity after two burnouts in one year, I didn’t think I was the best person to ask! However, when I gave it some thought, I realized there are some habits and mindsets that have helped me improve my relationship with time—not by trying to save it, but by savoring it. When I engage more fully with each moment in time—rather than running a race against time I know I’m going to lose—I may not accomplish a hundred tasks in one day, but I can accomplish a handful of tasks with greater care and attention, which feels productive in a healthier way.
If you’re tired of wrestling with time, how about engaging in a deliberate practice of making the most of time as you experience it each day? Here are a few strategies that have helped me:
1. I keep a shorter to-do list.
For most of my life, I’ve been obsessed with to-do lists. (In the past, I crowned myself the List Queen.) Although I’ve made efforts to tame my obsession, I still like keeping a daily list. In fact, I need one to help me remember the small but important tasks that I would otherwise forget. However, now I aim to have no more than ten items on my list each day, preferably fewer. Simply having fewer items to look at reduces my anxiety. It’s also a more realistic estimate of how much I’ll actually be able to accomplish in one day. I’ve come to accept that, once I’ve made time for necessary work, tasks, and essential self care (including rest breaks), I generally can’t do more than one or two small, meaningful things each day (for example, tidy up my reading nook, draw two sketches for a new project, or have a phone call with my parents).
2. I cut out all the shoulds.
Now I strive to focus only on the things I need to do (work, essential chores, self care) and the things I want to do (reading, creative projects, spending time with loved ones). I ruthlessly eliminate self-imposed obligations that drain my energy and aren’t truly necessary. If my to-do list gets unwieldy, or if I’m feeling drained, I also allow myself to put off necessary yet non-urgent tasks until I have more time and head space to tackle them. Sometimes even things that need doing must wait. My home is never completely clean, and I’ve accepted this as a trade-off for having the capacity to cultivate certain interests and pursuits that enrich my life with meaning (such as writing this newsletter 🙂).
3. I focus on tasks, not time.
Whenever possible, I make an effort to lean into one task at a time, giving it my full attention and allowing the task itself to determine how much time it requires rather than setting a time limit. This is easier to do with personal and household tasks, of course, when I’m on my own unstructured schedule. But I try to practice this in my work, too, as often as I can get away with. In his insightful book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, author Oliver Burkeman points out that before clocks, people managed their daily work with this task orientation approach: “Historians call this way of living ‘task orientation,’ because the rhythms of life emerge organically from the tasks themselves, rather than from being lined up against an abstract timeline, the approach that has become second nature for us today.” (I highly recommend this book if you’re looking for a fresh perspective that scatters all the tired tropes about time to the wind.)
4. I only plan tasks one week at a time, and projects one step at a time.
For most of my life, I was such a plan-ahead person. However, lately this kind of mindset gives me nothing but anxiety and overwhelm. So instead, I plan no further than what is necessary to keep me focused and motivated today. As I mentioned above, I keep a daily to-do list, and I usually don’t fill it out more than a week in advance (except for ongoing, repetitive tasks). When I’m working on an ongoing project, I zoom in on the very next small action I need to take, and maybe one step further, but that’s it. Not only does this short-term planning feel less overwhelming, but also it allows plenty of wiggle room for life to happen. If a long-distance friend comes to town for a visit, I want to be able to make space in my schedule to see them. If an unexpected crisis comes up, I want to minimize the number of plans I’ll have to rearrange at the last minute.
Of course, certain priorities and commitments require scheduling more than a week in advance. And to be clear, I’m definitely not saying long-term plans are unnecessary. The older I get, the more critical it feels to spend some time and effort preparing for future me’s needs. As much as possible, though, I keep my focus on now and the near future so I don’t go too far down my well-worn rabbit hole of anxiety, fear, and what-ifs. This strategy is more about how I prioritize my daily attention and energy.
A note for the difficult seasons of our lives
I do want to acknowledge there are days—sometimes entire months or seasons—in each of our lives when it feels nearly impossible to savor our time. (I’m having a week like that right now!) We may be raising children, caring for a loved one with special needs, working two jobs to make ends meet, struggling to cope with a chronic illness, or facing other daunting challenges. In these difficult and demanding seasons, all we can do is our best—no more than that. (And really, all we can ever do is our best.)
If you only have enough bandwidth to cross one tiny item off your to-do list or immerse yourself fully in one minuscule task without watching the clock, do it. Any breathing room you can give yourself in relation to time will help. (These are the moments when it’s most vital to cut out the shoulds—those things you think you should do that aren’t truly necessary.) But please don’t berate yourself for not savoring your time when you get backed into a corner, either by your own actions or by circumstances out of your control. When the house is on fire, we can’t afford to stop and smell the roses in the front garden. We have to keep moving to preserve our lives. It is what it is.
During the calmer seasons of our lives, when we are able to savor our time more regularly, I believe this practice can help us truly live our lives to the fullest. When we have the flexibility to narrow our focus to today and peel our eyes off the clock, when we trim our to-do list down to the most essential items that we care about—this is when time expands for us. This is how we can stretch our life spans without stretching ourselves beyond our limits. And when the difficult seasons come, we’ll be more rested and prepared to face them.
How about you?
What has your experience with the relativity of time been like? Do any of these time savoring strategies sound helpful to you?
My hope is that whether or not you resonate with any of these, you’ll be inspired to create your own strategies that work for you, and you’ll develop an adaptable rhythm that empowers you to move and bend with the shifting currents of time as needed.
May you discover a more delightful and meaningful relationship with time as you practice savoring it moment by moment. 🐌
Love this! And being present in each moment is something that truly helps me too.