How to Take an After-Hours Sabbatical
When you can’t take a leave of absence, try this practice
Hello, friend! Have you ever felt so burned out that you yearned to walk away from everything—just for a while—but you couldn’t because you still had bills to pay and chores to do?
Are you experiencing burnout right now?
What do you do when you can’t walk away, but you feel that you absolutely must?
If you’re chronically exhausted, I want to give you a first-aid kit that helped me and might help you, too.
As I share in my first post, Slowing Down to Save My Life, when I experienced burnout last year, I yearned to take a sabbatical—an uninterrupted stretch of time away from work to rest, reflect, and rejuvenate. However, I couldn’t afford to stop working. And yet I couldn’t keep going at the same relentless pace that had burned me out, either.
I had to do something to save my sanity and my health.
So I came up with a next-best solution: I took an after-hours sabbatical.
What is an after-hours sabbatical? Essentially, all it means is creating a sanctuary in which you give yourself permission to rest, do whatever nourishes and delights you, or do nothing at all.
The walls of this sanctuary are made up of time and space—unstructured time that you set aside on nights, weekends, or whenever you can take a break from your job and other responsibilities; and a safe, quiet space that you make in your home or elsewhere. Let’s call it a time-space sanctuary.
Want to create your own? Read on to learn how!
Disclaimer: Please note I am not a physician, psychotherapist, or social worker. I am just sharing a practice I created that helped me. This practice may or may not help you, and it is not intended to be a substitute for medical treatment, psychotherapy, or any other specialized professional service. If you believe your mental and/or physical health are at risk, please seek help from a specialized, licensed professional who can address your specific concerns.
How to create your own time-space sanctuary
First, let’s go over how to set up a dedicated time and space in which you can practice your after-hours sabbatical.
1. Schedule.
In our fast-paced, frenzy-making human world, the odds of successfully committing to anything without an appointment in your calendar are low. You need to schedule your after-hours sabbatical. When can you find unstructured, (relatively) uninterrupted time in your week?
Nights and weekends are likely the best times for many of us with full-time jobs. But this will look different for each person. Some of us have to work weekends. Some of us are also parents or caregivers to family members. And if you live with someone—a spouse, partner, children, parents, roommates, etc.—even your down time may not be completely free from interruptions.
The aim here is to choose a slice of time that you can commit to on the regular; consistency is much more important than quantity. Start small: Can you set aside 15 minutes every weeknight? How about one hour every other Saturday morning?
If you find it easy to make this initial commitment, try gradually increasing it—go for one hour every Saturday, for example, or maybe even one full Saturday morning a month. But if the most you can scrounge up is 15 minutes on Thursday nights, then stick with that for now. It is good. Whatever you can commit to is good.
How long is an after-hours sabbatical? As long as you need! That’s the beauty of taking a sabbatical on your own time. Whether it’s every Sunday afternoon for three months, or 30 minutes a day for a full year, it’s all up to you.
2. Make space.
Find a physical space in which you can have quiet, solitude, and calm during your scheduled after-hours sabbatical. This can be a room in your home, a nearby park, a favorite coffee shop, or your local library. It doesn’t have to be fancy, and you don’t have to buy new furniture or inspirational art. The only requirements are a relaxing ambience and minimal interruption. If you need to put a Do Not Disturb sign on your bedroom or home office door in order to make a temporary quiet space, do it.
3. Set boundaries.
To ensure you’ll be able to show up regularly to your time-space sanctuary without the constant tug of excuses, distractions, and obstacles weighing you down, you need to set some boundaries for yourself. I decided I was not going to use my after-hours sabbatical for making long-term plans, committing to any results-oriented projects, or catching up on my never-ending to-do list. I was not going to worry about chores or other tasks that could wait.
I also decided to allow anything that felt restful to me. If I wanted to watch three episodes of a TV show, that was allowed. If I wanted to spend an hour Googling the easiest houseplants to care for, that was allowed. If I wanted to listen to calming music and stare into space, that was allowed, too. No judgment, nothing to prove.
Decide what you’re NOT going to allow (judgment, self-imposed obligations, saying yes to things you don’t want to do) and what you ARE going to allow (anything that feels restful). Make a list of these boundaries and keep it in your sanctuary space where you can refer to it as often as necessary.
4. Protect.
Remember that constant tug of excuses, distractions, and obstacles I mentioned earlier? I didn’t promise you’ll be able to avoid them completely—because you won’t. Another name for them is Life, am I right? It’s not realistic to expect you can set up a bullet-proof time-space sanctuary.
But what you can do is commit to it with the fierce dedication of a lioness protecting her cubs. Do your best to keep showing up for your after-hours sabbatical in spite of all the things shouting for your attention. Silence or mute notifications on all your devices. Resist the temptation to tap on click bait links.
If you live with someone, tell them you’re practicing an after-hours sabbatical every Saturday from 9 to noon (or whatever your schedule is) and you would really appreciate their giving you privacy. Get a blank stare when you use the term “after-hours sabbatical”? Call it “me time,” “quiet time,” or whatever makes sense. If you have young children, ask your partner—or your best friend or a trusted neighbor—if they can baby-sit, pretty please, so you can have a respite for an hour or two. Whatever is doable. Unless your live-in loved one has an emergency, don’t allow them to interrupt or take over your after-hours sabbatical.
IMPORTANT: Don’t allow yourself to sabotage your me time, either!
5. But also, be flexible.
Life happens, though. Emergencies are never convenient. Sometimes there’s no way to move around the doctor appointment or oil change you’ve already put off for months. Sometimes a friend calls out of the blue because they’re visiting your hometown this weekend and they want to meet with you—and you really want to see them, too.
So yes, protect your after-hours sabbatical as much as you can, but also—allow life to happen.
One of the intentions of my own after-hours sabbatical was to learn how to accept what is here and now. By setting aside a time and space for myself in which I could do anything according to the ebbs and flows of my mood, I was also practicing how to get in sync with the natural ebbs and flows of life. Because life will happen, whether we plan for it or not.
What to do during your after-hours sabbatical
Now that we’ve covered how to set up a time and place to practice your after-hours sabbatical, what should you do with it?
First, cut out all should’s. This practice is for you and no one else. If you’re having thoughts that start with, “I should,” then you may be dwelling on self-imposed obligations—things you think will help someone else or yourself, but aren’t necessary or nourishing to your soul.
So really, the question is not, “What should I do?”
Instead, ask yourself, “What do I want to do?”
The answer to this depends on your specific feelings and circumstances. It can be anything that appeals to you. Maybe the answer is “Nothing at all,” and that’s fine, too. Staring into space is allowed!
If you’re not sure what you want to do, ask yourself, “What does my body need?” or “What does my soul want?” These questions may feel a little woo-woo, but often we get stuck inside the echo chamber of our own head, and reframing “What do I want to do?” in these ways can help us detach a bit and get more specific.
For example, does your body feel heavy or achy? Maybe what it needs is a nap, a slow walk in the park, or some quiet time with calming music.
Does your soul feel empty? Maybe it wants a five-minute dance party in your room, a phone call with a good friend, or a coloring book and a box of crayons.
I can’t tell you what to do with your after-hours sabbatical. That’s for you to figure out. But here are some ideas to get you started:
Something that gives you rest
When we think of rest, what usually comes to mind is bed rest—taking a nap, or lying down while listening to relaxing music. But did you know there are actually seven kinds of rest? This article by physician Saundra Daulton-Smith, MD describes each of them (HT Douglas Tsoi). Rest can be active (a yoga workout, for example) or fun (a visit to an art museum).
What would feel nourishing to your body and soul right now? Maybe you need a 30-minute cat nap. Or maybe you want to spill all your feelings into a journal for 20 minutes. Choose an activity (or non-activity) that will make you feel refreshed afterward.
Something that delights you
Think of an activity that makes you feel fully alive when you’re doing it. Something so engrossing that time seems to stand still, until you finally glance at the clock and realize two hours have gone by in what feels like the blink of an eye. Whether it’s something you do every week, or something you haven’t done in ten years, give yourself permission to fully indulge in this activity during your after-hours sabbatical. Some examples: reading a captivating novel, knitting a blanket, tending a garden, baking a cake, organizing your photos, playing a game of soccer with friends, going for a two-mile run (or walk).
If nothing comes to mind right away, don’t worry. You may just have to dig a little deeper.
Close your eyes and search for a happy memory from your childhood. What was something you enjoyed as a kid that you couldn’t bear to tear yourself away from? Did you like building sand castles? Climbing trees? Mastering the game of chess? Whatever it is, try the nearest equivalent you can do now.
If you loved building sand castles, take a bucket and a shovel to the nearest beach. No beach nearby? How about building a castle with sculpting clay or Lego bricks instead?
Still can’t think of anything that lights you up from head to toe? Then how about…
Something that tickles your curiosity
Try something you’ve never done before. What are you curious about?
Maybe you’ve always wanted to take a pottery class. Maybe you’d like to learn how to identify the constellations in the night sky. Maybe the history of transportation fascinates you. Maybe you’ve been thinking about visiting a local farmer’s market or that charming little town an hour’s drive away.
Just follow your curiosity and see where it leads you. You might discover a new hobby, a new favorite destination, or your next passion project. Or you might just have some fun for a couple of hours—and that’s worthwhile, too.
Something that takes you out of yourself
Want to dig deep inside your soul? Sometimes the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself. Try an activity that can serve as a meditative practice—something with no objective other than to help you tap into a sense of wonder. Anything within your means is a possibility. The only limit is your imagination!
When I watched the documentary My Octopus Teacher last year, I was so moved by filmmaker and diver Craig Foster’s yearlong encounter with an octopus that I wanted to create my own life-changing practice—a daily ritual to take me out of myself and give me a renewed perspective. As much as ocean life fascinates me, however, I wasn’t interested in taking up diving.
Instead, since I love making visual art, I decided to do my first #100DayProject— in 100 days, I would make as many paper collage tiles as I could. It wasn’t a race or a competition, but rather an opportunity for me to delight in playing with multiple combinations of colors and shapes.
Throughout this project, I learned valuable lessons: the necessity of course correcting when things don’t work out the way I envisioned, the importance of freeing myself from perfectionism, and the magic that can happen when I allow my precision to dance with my intuition. Bonus: I had fun creating a series of colorful collages that exist in the world now!
Maybe you can try your own #100DayProject…or something completely different that’s calling to you. The specifics of the activity don’t matter as much as what the activity teaches you.
This practice is meant to free you, not constrain you
What you do with your after-hours sabbatical may change over time, and this is perfectly fine. For example, if you started an art project two weeks ago and you’re losing interest, take a moment to ask yourself why. Is it because you’re tired? Or is it because you’re not enjoying the project? If you’re tired, give yourself a break and return to the project when you have energy again. If you’re not enjoying it anymore, give yourself permission to quit and try something else.
Remember, an after-hours sabbatical is meant to help you rest and rejuvenate. That’s it. You’re not supposed to achieve or prove anything. You don’t need to tell anyone else what you’re doing. All you need to do is keep showing up and listening to what your body and soul are asking for in this moment.
I hope you can use these ideas as a springboard to creating your own unique after-hours sabbatical—one that honors what you need and want in your life right now. Does any of this resonate for you? Got some ideas of your own? Share your thoughts in the comments! And if you try this practice, I’d love to hear how it works (or doesn’t work) for you.
In the meantime, may you find the rest you need today. 🐌